The Feed

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. He walks up to the bartender and orders a drink. The bartender serves...

What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack and I’ll plaster you. 😉

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!

Why is a turkey like an armchair? Because they’re both full of stuffing! oh geez…

What kind of lions could attack you at the park? Dandelions Mwuh-haha

What did King Tut say to the museum? I want my mummy! groan

What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead. 🙂

What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot? She called the toe truck!

What part of a fish weighs the most? the scales tee hee.

How is a dog’s tail like the center of a tree? It’s furthest from the bark! 🙂

Did you hear about the guy who drove his Chevy truck into the lake? It sank… like a rock! *groan*

What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? Porcupine

What did the big candle say to the little candle? I’m going out tonight!

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? a PINEAPPLE hahaha

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I’ll never part with it! haha

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? They both drop their needles! hmm…

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!

What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses. Christmas is coming soon…

What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef (it’s just a little gross… )

What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends… Happy Halloween!